


swans don't have shit on me

by Prim_the_Amazing



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 06:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10961160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prim_the_Amazing/pseuds/Prim_the_Amazing
Summary: "Heeey, what are we talking about?" Jake greets them, sliding into the conversation and on the floor in his socks."Just how Gina is wrong and delusional and she's going to ruin a young woman's quinceanera," Rosa answers flatly."Oh, just how Rosa keeps defending old fashioned and out of date dance stereotypes.""Okaaay, I think I see something I have to slide and crash into on the other side of the office, bye! Talk to you in less tense and uncomfortable circumstances!"





	swans don't have shit on me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fleurting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurting/gifts).



"Twerking is not graceful," Rosa insists ignorantly. It's so sad. 

"Sure, Rosa, whatever false notion it is you need to cling to make yourself feel better. I mean, whatever you say," Gina corrects herself thoughtfully. She's a pretty tactful person. 

"Heeey, what are we talking about?" Jake greets them, sliding into the conversation and on the floor in his socks. 

"Just how Gina is wrong and delusional and she's going to ruin a young woman's quinceanera," Rosa answers flatly. 

"Oh, just how Rosa keeps defending old fashioned and out of date dance stereotypes." 

"Okaaay, I think I see something I have to slide and crash into on the other side of the office, bye! Talk to you in less tense and uncomfortable circumstances!" 

"Jake! Put your shoes back on, this is our  _workplace."_

"Only if you can catch me, Amy!" 

"Ooh, sock race!" 

"Stop encouraging him, Boyle!" 

"What, afraid you'll _lose?"_

"I don't know why anyone would hire your dance group for a quinceanera." Both Rosa and Gina skillfully ignore the sock situation (sockuation, if you will) that is rapidly growing and is also no doubt just as rapidly going to be lost all control of behind them in favor of arguing with each other while making an uncomfortable amount of unflinching eye contact that could and would kill lesser human beings. 

"Ummm, because we're basically Beyonce but four people in neon spandex and legwarmers and relatively undiscovered? No, wait, I'm Beyonce and all of the other members are... Rihannas. Yeah. Or, wait, too generous, three Taylor Swifts." Or perhaps Miley Cyruses? Wait, maybe she was getting _too_ mean. 

"The email specifically requests _elegant_ and _delicate_ dancing." 

In the background, Jake and Boyle have finally goaded Amy into taking off her shoes. Gina idly fixes her iPhone camera on the inevitable disaster to come without breaking half lidded eye contact with Rosa. "An email sent specifically to a group called  _Floorgasm._ I think they know what they're getting into." She doesn't bother asking how, when, or why Rosa read the email. She's like a information hunting bloodhound. Or an especially violent raccoon. Gina likes that about her. Shortens conversations since Gina doesn't have to answer as many questions or belt out as many expositional speeches. That's more time for tweeting for Gina. 

"Let me show you how to dance gracefully." It comes out sounding more like an order than anything else. Not unusual, for Rosa. 

"I was born with the grace of a swan, Rosa." She hears horrified screaming in the direction of the sockuation, but she doesn't bother looking. She's got it all on video on her phone anyways. She bets a tub of Ben & Jerry's to herself that someone slipped on something Hitchcock and/or Scully dropped on the floor. And then fell on the rest of whatever horrors Hitchcock and/or Scully dropped/spilled/threw/forgot on the floor. She's going to get so many likes. 

"I went through years of intense ballet training. Swans don't have shit on me." 

Gina permits herself a slight impressed eyebrow lift. Everyone knows ballet dancers are fucking crazy for discipline, and fucking crazy in general. That would explain Rosa's entire personality (or the personality existing in the first place was what had attracted her to ballet? it was a bit of a chicken or egg situation she supposed). Although Gina's leading theory on Rosa's... Rosa-ness had been former assasin for hire. Or current assasin for hire. Her apartment had been very nice, after all, and she had to be paying for that excellent interior design somehow. She thought for a moment and decided that former ballet dancer and former/current assasin weren't mutually exclusive theories. Good. That meant that she hadn't officially lost that bet to Jake yet (who was hoping Rosa was a member/leader of an ultra secret organization/death cult). 

"Very well. I will allow you to mentor me for a very brief span of time, during which I will absorb all of your grace and dancing abilities and claim them for my own use." 

"I don't use the skill much now a days anyways. I'm in a knife phase right now." 

"As you've been for the last... however many years I've known you." 

"I'll meet you tommorrow night, 2 AM, in the alley we found that mysterious unidentified dead body in last Tuesday." 

"You're going to have to specify." 

"The one next to the Denny's." 

"Oh yeah, I remember. Bring a knife... more knives than usual, Denny's are mysterious and dangerous locations." 

They trade business like nods, the argument forgotten because they are mature adults. And also because Gina is going to absorb the _shit_ out of Rosa's power, much like a youth-stealing hag draining the life force away from innocent children to take as her own (much like her mother, _zing!),_ so holding a grudge would just be petty at this point. 

The sockuation video only gets her two thousand views. Pathetic. 


End file.
